A helft emes iz a gor lign

Just because we don't call you out please don't think, dear liars, that you are getting away with it, whatever it may be.

In my youth I would feel the immediate need to pull out the figurative blue mat and call people on their lies, excepting perhaps the “spared feelings” versions. Didn’t matter the time, location, or event… if you lied I would literally say, “bullshit, that’s a lie” and depending on the circumstances proceed to either supportively find out why you lied or just rip you a new asshole on my way to finding the truth. As I have mellowed with age and learned to pick my battles I don’t immediately launch into such ridiculous tactics anymore. There are several reasons for this change in approach.

1. Maturity – there really is a time and place for everything. I promise.
2. Avoidance of hypocrisy because I am a liar myself sometimes. It is extremely difficult to go through life without some degree of lying.
3. Realization that there is a massive range of motivations behind why they chose to lie and those, less clear, reasons are often as important as the lie itself.

*This does not represent actual events, just common themes of lies that you, the reader, could relate to. And because I did it so quick, in order to be readable it has to be asthetically unpleasing in its overflow...apologies.

We all have fallen somewhere on this spectrum (or many places) in our lifetime.When I was younger I wanted to always let the other person know that I was “smart enough” to know the what’s what. I was “insightful” enough to know a lie when I saw it and tell you so. Now, not so much.  Now, I care a lot less about how I am perceived, I don’t need to been seen as always being in the right. In fact, hindsight has shown me, it was a wretched trait that probably cost me a friendship or two over the years.  No one wants to be around someone who must always know everything and be right…humility, caring and the occasion flaw is what bind us to each other.

Now my need for truthfulness is more patient, forgiving, and passive. While a friendship with a high degree of lying will naturally fall apart from lack of trust, it will not be hastened by confrontations. Instead I observe, silently hand out the rope of trust as you perhaps lie again, and let you use it to either crawl out of the hole you are digging, or hang yourself with it. Sometimes a relationship (and I use that in the most generalized sense as any human interaction) just needs breathing space, sometimes the person is uncertain of their own motivations and isn’t ready to share yet, the list of reasons for a lie is like an infinite scroll…without end. So before the next lie escapes your lips (and I say this to myself as well) you should ask yourself why you are saying it. I find the answer is usually extremely insightful about the relationship you have with the person you are lying to.

Cheers!

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